Conversation that you shouldn't avoid with your parents.
I recalled when my mother and grandmother passed away, the funeral rites were decided based on assumptions about their preferences. The burial place and either is cremation or burial is based on the convenience for the younger generations.
When my mother passed away from lung cancer 12 years ago, both my sister and I were in our 20's and have not dealt with such situations before. Naturally, all the decisions were made by my father and the adults.
However, after the rites are settled, my father passed the final funeral bill to us and said the condolence money from relatives and friends was not enough to pay everything and my sister and I had to clear the remaining amount which was quite substantial to me back then. #lessonlearnt
Hence, rather than waiting until it’s too late or caught off guard with unexpected bills, I encourage to ask these slightly difficult questions while parents are still well and alive.
❤️🩹 #1 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚𝙨 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙣𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙖𝙠 𝙤𝙧 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙠 𝙖𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛?
⚰️ #2 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙤𝙛 𝙛𝙪𝙣𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙡 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨 𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙛𝙚𝙧?
- Whether burial or cremation? Have your parents set aside any funds for the rites?
🧑⚖️ #3 𝙃𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙡𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙮 𝙢𝙖𝙙𝙚 𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨 𝙤𝙣 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙖𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙩𝙨 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙗𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙥𝙖𝙨𝙨 𝙖𝙬𝙖𝙮?
- It is the trickiest question but also the most important one. Encourage them to do a will to outline how and to whom they would want their property, assets and wealth to be distributed after their demise. Guide them with CPF nomination and relevant insurance nomination.
Sudden death and mental incapacity can happen to any of us. Making plans for the future reduces stress for those around us, and also minimises guilt, stress and uncertainties during an already-difficult period.
𝐅𝐮𝐧 𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐬: I asked my father in law on question #2 and he told me this -- he wants to be cremated, put his ashes in a helium balloon 🎈 and fly it up to the sky. Is this even legal? 😄